“To me, comedies are usually the least funny movies. Movies that are actually a comedy are usually not all that funny. To me Goodfellas and Raging Bull are two of the funniest movies I ever saw.”—Louis C.K. (via exclusivelylouisck)
1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
my closet doors..i removed after my grandfather died and i moved into his room…
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
yes..i have the street sign for 19th avenue in san francisco, near my old college……19th?
5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
no, i use beer and charm to pick up women…
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
a swarm of feminists
8:Do you have freckles?
this may sound odd but i really have no idea…
9:Do you always smile for pictures?
10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
i do sometimes
12:Have you ever peed in the woods?
13:What about pooped in the woods?
i do not remember
14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
i used to chew my bic pen caps
16:How many people have you slept with this week?
17:What size is your bed?
king or maybe emperor or umm…tyrant….
18:What is your Song of the week?
the goddamned ding ding song from bob’s burger
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
yeah….but only if they worship satan and swallow GALLONS of cum…
20:Do you still watch cartoons?
no, but if tom and jerry were on i would not kick them out of my bed…
21:Whats your least favorite movie?
dude, where’s my car
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
in my heart, no one would look there…
23:If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size?
pants are for amateurs
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
one billion carat liquid platinum, or a bit of sriracha
25:What is your favorite food?
one billion carat liquid platiinum, or umm……chinese…..women
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
american psycho, the searchers, stardust memories, radio days, little white chicks with big black monster dicks volume nineteen, the music man…
27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
stranger things have happened….
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
3 months ago, i never sent it to her
31:Can you change the oil on a car?
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
33:Ever ran out of gas?
34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
a chewy sourdough toasted..double onions….havarti….green chile…rare roast beef…a few jalapenos….a runny egg…..soy sauce…
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
36:What is your usual bedtime?
37:Are you lazy?
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
40:Are you horny?
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
it is all relative
43:Are you stubborn?
i do not know
44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman?
45:Ever watch soap operas?
i used to watch general hospital but about 20 yrs ago
46:Are you afraid of heights?
47:Do you sing in the car?
48:Do you sing in the shower?
49:Do you dance in the car?
my car is much too small to dance in
50:Ever used a gun?
plenty of times
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
if by a photographer you mean gus or amdy then maybe a few months
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
53:Is Christmas stressful?
54:Ever eat a pierogi?
55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
57:Do you believe in ghosts?
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
59:Take a vitamin daily?
61:Wear a bath robe?
not in a while
62:What do you wear to bed?
sweats and shame
kiss 1979 the great western forum
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
65:Nike or Adidas?
i could care less
66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
no, are they very good?
69:Ever take dance lessons?
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
librarian, teacher or professional cunt
71:Can you curl your tongue?
only a bit
72:Ever won a spelling bee?
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
i cannot remember
74:Own any record albums?
plenty, but not as many as ryan
75:Own a record player?
76:Regularly burn incense?
i abhor incense
77:Ever been in love?
i think yes
78:Who would you like to see in concert?
the smiths, taj mahal travellers, hijokaidan, the gerogerigegege, violent onsen geisha, nazorania, mayhem, burzum, pan sonic, joy division, billie holiday, bessie smith, robert johnson, blind lemon jefferson, charlie patton, old dirty bastard, bauhaus, tones on tail, nwa, ice cube, the mamas and the papas, vanity 6…
79:What was the last concert you saw?
80:Hot tea or cold tea?
iced tea w cream
81:Tea or coffee?
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
i thought they were the SAME THING!!!
83:Can you swim well?
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
85:Are you patient?
that depends upon whether i am waiting for a steak or vagina
86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
that depends…but usually dj
87:Ever won a contest?
i do not rremember
88:Ever have plastic surgery?
89:Which are better black or green olives?
black for pizza but green for classy folk
90:Can you knit or crochet?
91:Best room for a fireplace?
92:Do you want to get married?
93:If married, how long have you been married?
94:Who was your HS crush?
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit